Well it was "D" day on Tuesday,
Well there where 11" house holds" love the way they speak.. The meeting was very informal and quite relaxed most of the time.
We went through why children come in to care and what there thoughts on this might be.
which took about an hour and half. then we had a break which was very welcome by all ......
When we came back we had time to ask questions about what was said before and our feelings on this.
We then went on to the adoption triangle and had to guess what each where feeling. Which Gander and i found very interesting as where what we thought. we spent about an hour on this.
Then came the not so relaxed part the 2 ladies given us this information said, that we needed to think about what sort of contact we could deal with and they tried very hard to push open adoption's, to the fact that she said could we all consider weather we could meet birth parents and have photo's to put in chicks life story book......( I can say with my hand on heart that I'm not comfortable with this)
but it is not for my comfort i know that it is for our chicks.
By this time my head was well and truly banging. LOL
Gander and i did speak to one of the ladies SW's.
We told her about LA in 1999 and that we where turned down, she did say that when we get our initial SW visit they will be asking for our file from LA.
Then she said that it doesn't seem to be a problem but that was not a grantee.
So Gander and i came home a bit happy yet bit sad, and we talked loads.
We have come to the conclusion that if this new LA Say's no sorry even at this early stage, that will be it.
We have been together for almost 20 years and married for 17 years and have been trying to get pregnant via different fertility hospitals and a very bad miscarriage of twins.
and in 1999 we went through adoption.
So if they so NO sorry then we are saying OK thank you for visiting us. And it is your loss and we will walk away and still be a happy couple.
This is why it is now Thursday before i had posted.
Goose ;-) xx
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I've been reading for a bit but didn't know about your previous attempt to adopt, really sorry to hear that.
ReplyDeleteWe are choosing the route we are going down for adoption partly because we really want to try and have as much openness as possible - though it will be slightly different for us, we may end up with a child whose birth parents are really quite difficult to explain and deal with - but it makes SO much difference, everyone says, to children if they know where they come from and can be realistic about what to expect from their birth family - especially if that's not very much.
I think the SWs try to push to gauge how you would cope. Just be very honest with yourselves and with them as to what you think you could cope with. To be honest it is the home study that brings most issues out for discussion. We found the prep course very interesting, and met some lovely people, but it wasn't where we learnt much. Your previous enquiry about adoption is ten years ago. A lot has changed in ten years, and so will you have; so as and when it gets mentioned show how things have changed in a very positive way and how reflecting on the previous experience will help you be better parents in the future.
ReplyDeletebest wishes
LL