Tuesday, 8 June 2010

The Last post of Goose and Gander

Well as it says this is the last post that we are making as we have come to the end of our Adoption Journey.

Our social worker came to see us yesterday (not a good meeting).
Firstly she asked if we where both OK, and then wanted to know about the cancer scare. which we told her opening and honestly.

Then came the show stopper, she asked us if we had put any more thought into the children that we would be able to adopt. We told her that we had thought long and harder about this.
We told her that we did not feel that we would be able to offer a home to severely disabled children (due to the fact we know what is involved as my sister is severely disabled). We did say that we thought we could offer a home to children with very mild to moderate learning disabilities.

Our social worker then said I'm not sure if we can put you through the adoption procedure as we are no longer a priority, for adoption and gander also needs to be 2 years free from smoking even though he has given up in the last month.

she said that as a LA their priority is to place 2 or more children ( which we wanted) ages 3-7 years (which we wanted) and with server disabilities (which we can't offer a home to).

she then cut our meeting short and said that she is putting No Further Action on our file.
She made the comment that "you did say that this was your last attempt for having a family and you are no longer fitting our criteria ".

We would like to wish every who reads this Post good luck on your journey, and we hope you have every success but remember that if you set a goal post don't move it as it will only hurt more in the long run.

We have come to our Goal post and we are saying thank you very much for taking us this far and we hope that you find homes for all your children

Good Luck

Goose and Gander
xx xx ;-)

Sunday, 23 May 2010


Well it start on the 12th April, I woke up with severe pain in my right breast.
As I'm a Oscar winning drama queen thought it was just I'd done to much in kickboxing the night before.
The next 2 days my mind was racing as pain still there and i was heading for next kick boxing class but i kept telling my self that it was nothing and that i was just being a drama queen again.
Now it's the 14th April 2010 my right breast is now very large and from inner side to underside of the breast is very very red (BURNING) to touch and to look at.
Gander did not want me to go to work but i said that i would get doctors appointment for next day, and he told me to be careful as in his words i didn't look right.( to be honest i didn't feel right either )
So i worked all day a what a day we where rushed off our feet which didn't help. H my business partner made me promise that i went to the walk in centre as i was looking very grey, I said i would but i had to go to Brownies first, Well you'd thought I'd just kicked the dog.
So i went to Brownies and got told off for being there as they all said i looked grey but it was first night back form Easter so i was told to sit down and not do any thing which was frustrating.
So now the time is about 8pm and just pulled on to the drive well all i can say is that i thought that i was on fire my hole body hurt it took me 5 minutes to get to front door ( normally 5 seconds) i walked in and Gander just said OH MY GOD you've got to go to hospital,
so hear i am sitting in in casualty got to see doctor at 1opm and i told him i feel like a fraud for being here he asked me to remove my top and show him where lump was and the redness well i took top off and he didn't even examine me he held my hand and asked me when i stopped breast feeding i told him i did not have any children and i have only been pregnant once and that was for only 6 1/2 weeks with I.V.F.
While all this was going on i had drips in both hands i was being asked all different questions Gander was being pushed out of cubical and when he came back in it looked like he'd been crying he was gone for ages.
I was so confused with everyone talking to me at once, I'm sure by this time I'd had some pain killer as felt likeI was flying so I asked when could I go home as I felt better that's when they told me and this is when Gander came back in this one doctor said " I'm really sorry Goose but you can't go home" " we think that you have an abscess in your breast ." he then said to the nurse and porter yeah take her straight to the oncology ward they where just starting to move me when i ask the doctor why are you sending me to the CANCER ward my dad died on that ward i was looking from Gander to doctor and back again it was like every thing had just stopped and going in very slow motion, The doctor asked everyone one to leave and then told me what he'd already told Gander, "Goose we think you have breast cancer and this why we are sending you to the CANCER ward there going to be doing more test and drain more of the abscess." I didn't say a thing Gander was wiping my face saying don't worry we will fight it no matter what it is by this time the tears where here but i wasn't crying it was like my body was crying.
When i got to the ward my nurse i recognised him and then he said my name Gander said do you know my wife and he said yes she cuts my hair and has done for years,.
i don't know why i asked but i did can anyone tell me what the time is please Gander and nurse said at same time it's 3am,
Where had the night gone !!!!!!!
So they did more tests saw more doctors got more bruises from all the injection,
On the 17th April they said wanted to do more test and i said i wanted to sleep so could i have all tested done as out patients as i really wanted to go home.
They only took 5 hours to say yes as long as i followed stricked instructions which i said i would, so they gave me all pain killers i needed and told me over the next two / three weeks i was going to have loads of appointments they weren't kidding either.
so three weeks later I've had the total of four mammograms 7 scans and i get all results on 14th May 2010.................
So its 14th May 2010 and heading to hospital feel like i need shares in the hospital.
Well the results are I DON'T HAVE BREAST CANCER yippee..... i have had very bad Cellulitest
and i have to be very care full with my breast's as left breast has got 5 Cyst's and right breast has got 3 large and 4 small Cyst's the doctor said i cant put to much stain on my breast so no more kickboxing and he also said that unless on of the Cyst's plays up they will not remove them.
Today is the 23th May 2010 and tomorrow we are contacting Sue our SW to say that the news is good that i don't have breast Cancer and get the Adoption prosses will hopefully start again ...
A very happy
Goose and Gander
xxx xxx ;-)

Thursday, 1 April 2010


Happy Easter to all.

We had a phone call to day from Sue our social worker, firstly she apologised for not getting report finished and sent out ( Gander did say that when she left that she said that she would get report out in about three weeks) so we thanked her for her concern.

Sue did say that she was sending us some remeber forms it is to jog our memory's about our child hood, and Sue also said she would like an onther visit to go through the momory forms some time after Easter..........

So is this a good sign yes/no, .........

I think that we are divided on this one.

I have finished reading twenty things Adoptive kids wish their Adotive parents news ,,,, well the first 40-50 pages we ok and informative the rest of the book seems very contrdictive say things like when your child gets a good report : ihope your birth mum is as happy as me that you got a good report do you miss your bith mum.

And then say this a parpgraph later, remember when your child gets a good report don't keep saying about birth mum just say i'm really happy that your happy.

Now i know that we all want the best for our children but i just think this book could cause more problems then are really there.

Before signing off want to say good luck to Mary and Mungo Lindiloones and any one else waiting to go to pannel

Happy Easter

Goose and Gander
xxx ;-)

Sunday, 28 March 2010


Garden is now finished WOHO.
It has only taken 5 months with all the snow and christmas.
We went the hole hog and got a landscape gardener in to desgin our garden.
Well even thou it was not cheap it has been worth it.
We know have a grass area two raised flower/vegtable beds patio area that has been desgined for a 10 foot trampoline (which we have not got yet) a patio area that can be used for ever a play house or barbeque area.

All i can say it looks fantastic, and it is child safety and has got a lot of sensory areas for children with special needs.

The garden has already been used by children by my business partners 2 children and they have suggested where things should go ie trampoline play house.
This was the first time we have spoken to A & C about adoption and they where amazing and this is what they said..

A is 9 and she is very sweet she said when my new friends come to live with you can i come over and play with them, also you do know that if they are boy's in stead of a play house you can get a play ship.

C is 4 and she said when our friends come where will they sleep as there is no room. i asked her why there is no room, she came right back with well there is yours and Ganders room and then there is mine and A's room so where are they going to stay.
Arrh i said what about if they stayed in your room when your not here.

She sat there for about five minutes and then said well I'd like to pick out their new bedding is that OK also when A and i stay we can stay in our room as well and have big sleep over that will be really fun.......... She then got up and went yes that good and then shouted A when friends come we are having sleep overs.
A just laughed and said yes OK.

They are both so sweet and they are so caring.

Goose and Gander

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Initail Visit

Well it is here apon us and we have come out the other side with a big grin ;-).

Our socail worker is lovely Sue is so down to earth.
Sue went thro all our paper work with us and also ask us question's about getting tgurned downin 1999.
we explained every thing and she said "I CAN'T SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS "

The main area of concern for her is that Gander smokes, and even thou he smokes out side he has done since 2008, even if we got to pannel they will not place a child/ren in a smoking house. so Gander has said that he will quite( This i think is going to be very hard as he started smoking when he was 15 years old he is now 43 years old.) i'll be there to help him along the way.

Sue talked about getting Pongo dog checked (we still don't know what this means)

Sue asked us what sort of children did we think we would be able to parent and why, we have said that we have spent a long time thinking about this one. what we have come up with is that even if i could carrie a child to term, what garentee do we have that this child will not have some sort of learning difficulties. So wer have said that we would be intrested in a sibling group of 2 and 1 with learning difficulties ( downs syndrome, turners syndrome, cysrtic fibrosis)

I have lot of experiance as my sister has got learning difficulties.

Sue said that she is going to reconmend that wse be pushed forward/ fast tracked as we would like a sibling group and learning difficulties, She is going to write her report and hope fully her manage will agree with her.

She did say that she thinks the next prep course is about a year away if not fast tracked.

Sue has reconmended that i still carry on reading the adoption books but also look towards attachment issues.

So at the moment Gander and i are very happy and very tired.

Goose and Gander

XX ;-)

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Sore Throat

Well would you have believed it I've had the worst sore throat since last Thursday and I've lost my voice........
Gander says it's getting too quiet now as I've been with out my voice since Friday.

We are hoping that my voice returns before Tuesday that's when Sue our SW is coming for our first visit, and we are hoping that we will be told if we can go further with our adoption application and get on to a prep course.

I look forward to posting good news on Tuesday Evening

Goose and Gander
xx ;-)

Monday, 15 March 2010

Phone Call

Today while at work i got a phone call from Sue our SW.
I was so excited to hear from her i dropped the phone twice lol.
Well we had a little bit of a chat, she sounds so nice on the phone . She is coming round for our initial visit next Tuesday on the 23 march 2010.

When i put the phone down i wanted to tell every one but i was on my own. Gander had just left for a meeting at work and my business partner was on lunch........

Then business partner came back and i was cutting so did not get to speak to her.

Then at 4.50 Gander came to pick me up (we are a one car family at moment) so i got to tell him.
I could not help it but i started to cry and i could not stop myself.

So we can't wait to meet Sue face to face and welcoming her in to our home and our lives.

Goose and Gander
xx ;-)

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Well well well. i was only moaning the other day that we had not herd anything yet.........

Well Gander phoned me at work today WE GOT THE LETTER......

We have been allocated a SW and her name is SUE. The letter just states that she will be in touch shortly to make mutually convenient date for us. For our initial visit.

Some other news have been in contact with business link about adoption pay ( Was just fact finding ) and it turns out that self employed people do not qualify for Adoption Pay. But we do qualify for statutory maternity pay. This was a big shock to us both.

Some good news though is that our shop is one years old this coming Friday 12/03/10 and we are having a party lol.

Will keep informing of progress.

xx ;-)

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Nothing to Report

Nothing to report.................
Well it has been 3 since we received our letter to say that we can go to next stage.
That a social worker will be allocated to us and we be in touch.

We know that in SW's world this is probably on a mini second.
it how ever feels that we have been left out on a limb and forgotten.

We are still reading and feel that all we can read now is books of adoption that you read to children after they are adopted.

I have read one book called a boy called it well that is really heart wrenching.

Goose xx;-)

Monday, 22 February 2010

Book of choice

Book of choice;
Well after the last two post that i have made i picked up a book for the collection of adoption books and it is called Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew.
Well i have only got to page 45 so far but what a brilliant book.
It brings every thing into prospective and the feeling you are having are the ones the chicks want you to have and to talk about their birth families .
Sorry just Rambling now.
Just thought I'd post about the book, next post should be when we get letter about initial visit from SW. I'll keep reading and keep fingers crossed for all

Goose and Gander xx ;-)

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Well it has started:
We have received our first letter from LA stating that they had got our letter that we had to send to say that we wished to continue with the adoption enquiry.
Our LA gave us form's to sign on Tuesday to say that we had 1 month to say if we wanted to continue with the adoption enquiry.
They also gave us a questionaire which asks which sort of children would you accecpt. It certly has opened our eyes .
So on Tuesday we sent our reply;
So yesterday our letter from LA thanked us for attending meeting and also for replying so quickly. They also say that they are pleased to tell us that they are taking us to the next step of adoption.
All we have to do is wait for a SW to be allocated to us for our initial visit.
we got so excited about it can't wait for next letter.

We would also like to say that we have been thinking very hard about the contact issue that has concerned us.
We have said that if it would benefit our chicks to see us in a picture with their birth family then what is wrong with that it will show our chicks that we are thinking of them and that we had met their birth family.
with the other issue of direct contact on a yearly base's then all i can say on that is that depends on the chick/s to weather it would benefit them. All we want is the best for the chick/s.

We want to wish all the best for Mary and Mungo for next week 3rd March 2010 hope all goes well, We are thinking of you

Goose xx ;-)

Thursday, 18 February 2010


Well it was "D" day on Tuesday,

Well there where 11" house holds" love the way they speak.. The meeting was very informal and quite relaxed most of the time.
We went through why children come in to care and what there thoughts on this might be.
which took about an hour and half. then we had a break which was very welcome by all ......

When we came back we had time to ask questions about what was said before and our feelings on this.

We then went on to the adoption triangle and had to guess what each where feeling. Which Gander and i found very interesting as where what we thought. we spent about an hour on this.

Then came the not so relaxed part the 2 ladies given us this information said, that we needed to think about what sort of contact we could deal with and they tried very hard to push open adoption's, to the fact that she said could we all consider weather we could meet birth parents and have photo's to put in chicks life story book......( I can say with my hand on heart that I'm not comfortable with this)
but it is not for my comfort i know that it is for our chicks.

By this time my head was well and truly banging. LOL

Gander and i did speak to one of the ladies SW's.
We told her about LA in 1999 and that we where turned down, she did say that when we get our initial SW visit they will be asking for our file from LA.
Then she said that it doesn't seem to be a problem but that was not a grantee.

So Gander and i came home a bit happy yet bit sad, and we talked loads.
We have come to the conclusion that if this new LA Say's no sorry even at this early stage, that will be it.
We have been together for almost 20 years and married for 17 years and have been trying to get pregnant via different fertility hospitals and a very bad miscarriage of twins.
and in 1999 we went through adoption.
So if they so NO sorry then we are saying OK thank you for visiting us. And it is your loss and we will walk away and still be a happy couple.

This is why it is now Thursday before i had posted.

Goose ;-) xx

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Too much information LOL

Well here we are in February 2010 and what a good year it has been so far.

1 As every ones knows I'm a partner in a Barber Shop well here i am cutting hair and daily chit chat and then get on to subject of adoption well this gentleman and his wife N&G had adopted a little girl ten years ago. So N sent G down to shop and we had a good long chat( 2Hours ) and she said that they will help us as much as possible with any information that we need. They even let us see their daughters profile that they saw to give us an idea of what to except.

2 We are now a family of completed CRB checks. I have had mine done with the Brownies and it came back last week.

3 kitten is now 6 months old and not male but female, I can't believe that when started on this journey my kitten was not even born. and still not been to see SW's yet. oh kitten was spayed last Wednesday and pongo pined the whole time she was gone.

4 Been so busy at shop that we are now EMPLOYERS we have just taken on our friend to just work Saturday's at the moment we are the three musketeers again lol.

5 we have got exactly TEN days until we go to see SW to see if they will take us on to prep course. i have never been so happy and worried at the same time before in my life.

6 Oh and to top it all of i have got really bad cold so much for flu and swine flu jabs.....

7 Can't wait to see what the next TEN days bring.

good luck to Mary and Mungo for the 3 rd of march and to all how are waiting to hear what the next step is.

Goose xx ;-)

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

happy New Year 2010

Happy new year to all..............
Well so far it has been a very good year work is very busy......

Just got back from the first brownie planing meeting of 2010 and the first bit of news is that now I'm a Tawny Owl so excited about this term and that I'll be starting my leadership training with in the next month as was so busy before Christmas that could not start then.

Other news is that it is less than 1 month before we go to La to see if we can go any further with adoption.

look forward to posting leading up to and after going to la